I know you’re there. I can feel you

It’s funny how anxiety works. With me anyway. I’ve just spent three days doing all the things that are no no’s. Drinking, smoking, eating horribly unhealthy food, staying up all night. I haven’t done any exercise in a week. And no anxiety!

Compare that to the last days, weeks, months of super clean eating, gym, yoga, meditation, water, sleep, that did almost nothing to lessen the attacks.

I want to say I don’t get it. But I do. As I sit here waiting for my flight that is too long for my liking, I can feel anxiety lurking. I can almost predict when she’ll make her appearance.

These are the times when I think maybe it’s time to turn to meds. At least I’d have some control right?

Or is that allowing anxiety to control me? What I do. How I feel.

No. I will go home. Sleep. Tomorrow I will do more research into helping myself with the foods I eat and how to manage my thoughts better and I will face her head on. Again.

She thinks she’s winning. Please. I’m just getting started fighting you.

One thought on “I know you’re there. I can feel you

  1. I think you hit the nail on the head while mentioning super clean eating. My fear is that I start experiencing what you are going through. Hence the reason as to why I eat very small moderations of things I really love to eat. My thoughts and prayers are always with you. You can get through this!

    Liked by 1 person

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