I have a secret

I have many actually but I’ll stick to the one that’s appropriate 🙂

I’ve been single a long time. THAT is not a secret. I’ve been celibate equally as long. That might be a surprise. It’s by choice. I’m not complaining about it. I learned long ago that I am not the booty call or fuck friend type. I’ll wait for someone I feel deeply about. I’m ok with that.

That does not mean I don’t FEEL anything. I am human and have the same wants, needs, desires everyone else does. Like the need for companionship and the need for affection. The need to feel wanted and desired. I know you feel those things too. But we never talk about them or how we deal with them because we’re told it makes us sound needy. Or we should be totally fine on our own 100% of the time.

Bullshit!

Today I wanted attention and affection. Today I wanted to feel wanted and desired. I’m not ashamed to say that.

How to fix this though? Well, here’s where I tell you my secret. And ya it may sound cheesy but it works for me.

I do my hair. I put on make up and I may or may not put on sexy clothes. I turn up my music and I dance like the whole world is watching. And I take a million selfies. Some of them naked! Self love baby.

There is also chocolate.

All these things help convince my brain that I’m wanted and desirable. It’s a dirty little trick I play with anxiety and it works.

Do you have a secret too?

2 thoughts on “I have a secret

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s